Some of the most sage advice I will ever offer you is in this post. It is absolutely vital for any Bro who has had some recent trouble in scoring with chicks, it is your wingman.
Now I know what you're thinking, Pat, as such a paragon of virtue and smart dresser why would you ever need a wingman? Well, I don't. Neither does Mark. But why shovel the driveway when you can snowblow it (or pay a migrant worker to do it)
Imagine yourself at a bar or social gathering. You see girls. Do girls travel alone? Anywhere? No. Women have a terrible fear of not having someone there that they know and that everyone will notice they are alone and judge them. As though the opinions of complete strangers will ever matter. I call this The Freshman Effect as it takes most women back to a time when they didn't know anyone (besides all their friends) and noone understood them. (All women hated high school. Even if it was the best time of their life, they think they hated high school. You can have much success allowing a woman to bore you with how terrible her high school experience was) As such, women frequently "pre-drink" (do their hair and make-up for 3 hours while drinking half a cooler) before they go out to ensure they all are there together and never have a moment of being alone in the crowded building full of people.
This, is why a wingman is vital. Approaching a group of women is intimidating to many (wusses) but even worse can be difficult to succeed at. Often times there is a group cockblock there to steal your target away from you, or a case of "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!" will happen. When this happens, the other girls will take your target and make her dance poorly in a circle with them.
A wingman can block a cockblock, jump on a grenade or offer to dance (not actually dance) with a pull away. Much like an offensive lineman aids his running back, the wingman's goal is to help his teammate score. A wingman can also uptalk a bro and confirm any and all fantastic lies you tell to get laid. A wingman is also your Get Out Of Jail card. If for whatever reason your target is absolutly nuts/ ugly up close you will have to "meet him" and get the fuck up out of Dodge. Real Talk.
Next Up.... Types of Wingmen, What you want in a Wing, Classic Wingsmanship moves.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Hostalgia/ Brostalgia
There are two kinds of nostalgia when it comes to social interaction/ being awesome. All other varieties you can avoid because they are a complete and utter waste of time. Relying on old memories is beyond lame. Awesome people generate new classic moments. Now that that is out of the way, here are YOUR two kinds of nostalgia:
Hostalgia: Most humans are prone to weakness. Unfortunately, Bros are human. Hostalgia is one of the saddest cases of this. Hostalgia occurs when a Bro "misses" (ugh) an ex or past lay. This, while natural, happens to be the apex of wussy behavior (and cause of half the songs on the radio by boys in women's jeans). On occation a "tearjerk" is acceptable. A tearjerk is when using either scandalous photos or even enjoyable sexual memories of a past girl a bro reaches that elusive calm of ejaculation. However, if you find yourself doing this more than even once a month to the memory of any specific girl (based on a self stimulous diet of twice a day) it's time to delete those photos for risk of a relapse (NEVER relapse) or becomming sickly hostalgic and longing for days when you were monogomous. That can lead to a dreaded case of a relationship.
Brostalgia: While not as sinister, brostalgia is still a symptom of "dead weight". Some long term friendships have experation dates. Unlike a relationship, which feels great to end, wishing a Bro the best in his future endevors is a task noone wants to face. Truely, realising you and a bro have lost the ability to be awesome together is difficult. Brostalgia is a sign of this. Recalling classic moments is great, especially when recalling them to an impressionable young lady (what up), however, if all time with a bro is spent sitting around remembering "the good ol' days", it's time to pull the plug and go out and get your plug pulled.
I swear Buck(Mark) will post soon.
Pat Collins, Sex Architcet
Hostalgia: Most humans are prone to weakness. Unfortunately, Bros are human. Hostalgia is one of the saddest cases of this. Hostalgia occurs when a Bro "misses" (ugh) an ex or past lay. This, while natural, happens to be the apex of wussy behavior (and cause of half the songs on the radio by boys in women's jeans). On occation a "tearjerk" is acceptable. A tearjerk is when using either scandalous photos or even enjoyable sexual memories of a past girl a bro reaches that elusive calm of ejaculation. However, if you find yourself doing this more than even once a month to the memory of any specific girl (based on a self stimulous diet of twice a day) it's time to delete those photos for risk of a relapse (NEVER relapse) or becomming sickly hostalgic and longing for days when you were monogomous. That can lead to a dreaded case of a relationship.
Brostalgia: While not as sinister, brostalgia is still a symptom of "dead weight". Some long term friendships have experation dates. Unlike a relationship, which feels great to end, wishing a Bro the best in his future endevors is a task noone wants to face. Truely, realising you and a bro have lost the ability to be awesome together is difficult. Brostalgia is a sign of this. Recalling classic moments is great, especially when recalling them to an impressionable young lady (what up), however, if all time with a bro is spent sitting around remembering "the good ol' days", it's time to pull the plug and go out and get your plug pulled.
I swear Buck(Mark) will post soon.
Pat Collins, Sex Architcet
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